New day, new week, new month. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can relieve stress and create more fun in our day-to-day. A year into this pandemic it’s hard to not get fully absorbed in the work and struggle of every day. Each day seems to bring unexpected challenges and emotions. I’m tired of the never ending rollercoaster and the way my body feels struggling against the inevitable current of daily life. A year into this it should feel easier, right? Shouldn’t we have a routine, a distribution of tasks around the house and a system that works? Well, we don’t!
So why is that? Why can’t Joe and I seem to find a rhythm in the new schedule? That is something I’ve really been struggling to understand. I don’t believe I actually have an answer to this (and I’d love all your input as to why it feels so hard). My theory on the matter is that we are still treating everything like it’s temporary. We never got childcare this year because I thought ‘Neva will be going back to school’ and ‘I work for myself so I can work when I’m able.’ Well my naive thinking has led me to burnout, wondering what I’m doing wrong and questioning all my decisions for my kids.
I have a high need to be organized and feel a sense of control in daily life. A personality trait that comes in handy when planning complicated family calendars but a trait not-so useful in a year that required a lot of fluid planning and thinking. So as we begin a new month, one filled with hope as we look ahead to the change of season and more people getting vaccinated, I’m thinking about what choices I can make to be kinder to myself.
The past 12 months have been filled with things that need to be checked off the list. But the problem with this mindset and living your life like one long to-do list is that you forget to enjoy the simple every-day moments that surround us. Don’t get me wrong, this pandemic fucking sucks. I hate that I haven’t been able to have my work life be what I dreamt. Hate that I’ve spent so many days feeling sorry that I’m not accomplishing something on my ‘list’. And all the while, hating myself for having missed being fully present. Without being fully grounded and present in every day we cannot find true calm, peace or happiness. I’m challenging you to join me for a month of kindness to yourself. Here is what I’m planning on doing and I hope you will join me.
Things I’m striving to do daily:
10 min of stretching
Choose 1 thing that brings you joy and do it!
This doesn’t need to be big it just needs to be intentional and you need to not be thinking about other things to accomplish while you’re doing it.
Tell yourself 3 things you did well.
Tell your partner 1 thing you appreciate them doing and ask them to do the same.
My hope is that by being kinder to ourselves (and the people in our household) every day will feel easier. From a place of kindness slowly we will shed some of the guilt and embrace all we are accomplishing. Let’s switch the statements to ourselves from: “I didn’t do this or that” to “look at all I have done and all I am doing.”
I look forward to witnessing the transformation our lives will take this month with a little more grace and intention brought into each and every day.